Beautiful Pains

It is about fifteen hours to her birthday. Usually, we would be going on and on about how we will go out tonight and get wild and help her make her new birth year's resolutions (which she never kept anyway). I would have secretly gotten her a present, whatever I could afford. Her excitement about her birthday was something that you'd never miss. It gave her a glow that would linger and eventually spread to everyone around her. 12th August 2015, she would be turning twenty six years. I am not sure if Merab would have changed that much to not be excited about her birthday.

Merab is my elder sister, but we live worlds apart. She sings with the angels, I am still hanging around on Earth, often questioning my purpose. We were fond of each other, for lack of better words to describe our relationship. She was not only my sister, she was also my best friend. So, as I sit here typing away memories of what she left behind, I am also celebrating the life of a friend that ended a little bit too early.

She was a little girl in every way, the way she'd giggle, the way she'd blush when she saw her boyfriend, the way she'd make me make wishes upon shooting stars, the way she was always so eager to try new recipes when mom left us alone in the house, which amazingly never disappointed. She was a strong girl and more often than not, I'd run to her for advice, even when we were going through the same issue. When I was eight, something happened at home and I wouldn't stop crying. When I did, I forgot to wipe away my tears and I remember her scolding me about wearing a tear stained face, and she wiped it clean. She kept telling me that I should never let people see me broken and that strong women never show their tears. They wear their smiles like gems. That was my sister, at twelve.

I do not want to go through every little detail about our life together, but with this as my very first post here, I want to tell both my sisters that I love them and words are not enough to explain the loss I suffer each day. And above all, I wish I could just sit around with them and be the kid that I always was.

Carol...I never really got to know her that well but I am certain that above everything, I did love her.
Merab...we shared the entire world together and that heart wrenching pain I suffered the day I learnt of your death is still in me. It somehow keeps me alive. There are so many moments that I have wished you were around and spent just a little more time together, sadly my wishes just go unanswered. I want to let you know that even death is not strong
enough to kill our friendship..and as usual, tonight I will go out and sit on a table set for two. I will sing your favorite songs, I will get wild and go home just in time to write your 26th year resolutions. Tomorrow I will make your favorite dish and I will sit down to watch Shrek for the millionth time, because that is exactly what we would have done. I will make sure to call mom and we will sing the birthday song to you and I will remind her that I still love her.

Above everything else, I will remind you of my undying love for you and I will add yet another gift to the pile that sits unwrapped in my drawer. Because you are alive in my heart. And should the world come tumbling down, know that even in death, you will always be my sister, my best friend and I will always love you.

"Happy birthday beautiful soul, my world revolves around you."